It’s True, I’m Job Hunting.

I have been a college graduate for nearly a year now, and it seems almost humorous that the girl who used to blog about securing a job before graduating would only lose that job a year and a half later through a layoff. So now I’m back on the hunt for a new job, and I get to share in an experience that way too many Americans do—unemployment.

Currently I’m sitting on day #2, and I’m already going stir-crazy. So far this is what my unemployment has consisted of.

DAY 1:

  • Go to the bank because you can’t find your checkbook to put your routing and account information on your unemployment application.
  • File for unemployment online while wearing pajamas and think about how you would have been sitting at your desk in pants at work at that same time just a week ago.
  • Go to your parents’ house because you don’t know what else to do with your time.
  • Convince your mom to go shopping with you to spend the money you don’t have.
  • Buy lots of Old Navy cardigans. Justify your purchase by saying you can wear them on job interviews.
  • Justify your shoes purchase the same way.
  • Eat lots of pancakes. Because pancakes are delicious.
  • Go to ARRG practice.
  • Go to an H2O show because you remember you don’t have to be up early for work.

DAY 2:

  • Sleep until 2 PM. Because why not? YOLO.
  • Finally mosey out of bed and get online to forget why you got online.
  • Remember why you’re online.
  • Search for numerous volunteer opportunities online because you need something to keep your busy or else you know you’ll become a night owl who sleeps until 4 PM every day.
  • Listen to Sleigh Bells’ album “Bitter Rivals” on repeat four times.
  • Eat so many Golden Oreos that you become uncomfortable about admitting how many you actually ate.
  • Sit on Reddit refreshing the same subreddit to see if anyone posted anything new for twenty minutes.
  • End up reading a third of this Michael Cera article in the New Yorker.
  • Debate if you should eat a late lunch, or early dinner. And then debate when it stops being a late lunch and rather an early dinner.
  • Go to practice.
  • Come home and watch Netflix because you have lost all meaning in your life apparently in two days of unemployment.

As someone who tends to keep a pretty packed schedule I’m seemingly overwhelmed with the new amount of free-time I have on my hands.  I figure if I don’t have a new job by mid-January I will either join the crew on a cruise ship or fulfill my long-time dream of being a flight attendant.  Preferably I’d like to be landlocked here in St. Louis a little longer, but we’ll see where the winds take me.

If you would like to save me from a surplus of free-time and need a copywriter, social media coordinator—even a roller girl—please do not hesitate to reach out to let me know how you can help me, help you.


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I Graduated into a Potty Mouth: Greek Life and Social Media Policies

Since graduating college some people might say my tweets are funnier, or raunchier depending on whom you ask. Why? Well I can actually make a joke that says “asscheeks” now if I want to (and believe me, I’ve made many).

Little known to most people, I went through college under a strict social media policy within my sorority that forbid any swearing, references to sex or alcohol, or seductive photographs from being placed online. And as a punk rock loving woman, keeping my mouth closed—albeit online—drives me crazy; let’s just call it the “stick it to the man gene” that I picked up somewhere along the way.

Now I think social media policies are effective in certain industries, but I don’t think collegiate women should be victim to them. I couldn’t post photos of my 21st birthday if there was alcohol in any of the photos or essentially, I couldn’t be controversial in the slightest or else I could get my pin pulled. Sadly the average sorority woman must play by these old school rules trying to be adapted to a modern platform. And although I love the women I can call my sisters, there are a lot of parts of being in a sorority that I find contradictory (but that’s for another blog). I wouldn’t change my college experience for a thing, but damn did I hate being told what I could and could not post online. Especially because these kinds of policies are instated to try and combat Greek stereotypes, it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t thing.

So when you see my tweets lately, just remind yourself that I’m going through a phase kind of like those severely repressed kids at college for the first time. And then remember that I didn’t get to archive my higher education experience online… But then again, maybe that’s the reason I have a job now.
Also, just because I can: I have a motherfucking diploma now, bitches!

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Jimmy John’s Sticks up for Self; Still has Delicious Subs

I love Jimmy John’s and I’m pretty sure that isn’t a secret. Throw me a #14 any day of the week and I will be a happy camper (I even ate one today, holla at some BBQ chips!). If anyone has walked into a Jimmy John’s ever they probably noticed the quirky decor, the fact there is a giant sub that costs almost $12 and the employees themselves usually mimic the brand. There is a reason that they post themselves up next to college campuses, and that’s because Jimmy Johns aims to keep that youthful vibe. Do you know what youths are? They aren’t politically correct, but they certainly are hungry and Jimmy John’s fills that void.

This woman posted on JJ’s Facebook page about how employee’s shirts said “damn” on them. Oh! Think of the children they said! They will be offended they said! I think this woman forgot the uniqueness of a brand that sells sandwiches. It is a sandwich with a personality! But seriously, nothing gets me more excited than a brand that sticks up for themselves. Damn it! Jimmy Johns does what they want to, and you better believe those sandwiches are damn good! And damn fast!

I mean, come on the FCC doesn’t even care about “damn.” Throw out some Janet Jackson nipples and f-bombs though, and that’s when it gets serious. So the moral of this story is be glad that your Jimmy John’s delivery man  isn’t wearing pasties and citing the delay of your sandwich on a “wardrobe malfunction.”

You can’t please everyone, and Jimmy John’s is A-OK with that. They acknowledged things wouldn’t change, and they are who they are. You don’t expect your spouse or your friends to be perfect, and you certainly aren’t, but those quirks are what attracts people to you. So you’ll see me down at the Jimmy Johns,  eating my damn good sandwich and celebrating the individuality of a brand that said “no.”


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Trending Topics: My Guilty Pleasure

I will admit it, scouring through Twitter trending lists is my guilty pleasure. Unfortunately the only people usually partaking in these trends are high schoolers and people who seem to lack the concept of grammar (usually, not always). A lot of the times I resist my urge to partake, or retweet any of the goodies because my Twitter is a reflection of who I am. Better yet, it is something I can curate to show my best side at all times (although sometimes that isn’t always the case).

There are people on my Twitter feed that I can identify as single, lonely, unemployed and on the opposite spectrum, in love and ridiculously happy. Obviously I sometimes am all of the aforementioned, but I don’t want to overload people with it because then you just become associated with that adjective or action. A friend of mine always whined via Facebook, and her RA’s referred to her as “Facebook Girl.” So although I would love to tweet all day about #thingsthaturnmeon (punk rockers, tattoos, smart men, and secret dorks), I just can’t.

What are some hashtags you can get behind without shame? When I see #ReasonsIhateJerseyShore on the left side of my Twitter feed, you know I’ll be hammering out 140 characters in no time at all. 

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Solo Cups: The Party Favorite has a Multipurpose Use with Cell Reception

Chillin’ at our rented 70’s-era RV

This past weekend I partook in a Missourian tradition, the beloved float trip. I realize a lot of people outside the Midwest, or even some people in the Midwest (shout out to my Wisconsin-based family and their oblivion) don’t know what a float trip is. So allow me to inform you, it consists of renting a raft to float down the river in, and 99% of the time, extensive amounts of alcohol to drink whilst floating. Unlike with a car, or most transportation devices, a raft is one thing you can operate completely blackout drunk and it is perfectly acceptable and usually expected – it’s the Missouri way! I mean, the earliest inhabitants around these waters, even Tom Sawyer and “N-Word” Jim floated these same rivers probably under the influence of moonshine and extreme bigotry (unfortunately the latter still reigns pretty strong in some parts of this state).

Whereas floating was more of a means to get-around back in the heyday, it is now more of a means of floating into intoxication, population you. Fortunately, these campgrounds and floating spots are usually located in the boonies and therefore lack cell phone reception which nulls out the deadly potential of drunken person and cell phone syndrome. But if for some reason you REALLY feel the need to drunkenly text your lover, ex-boyfriend, third cousin twice removed or anyone else in your phonebook, I learned this handy-dandy trick over the weekend.

How to raise your phone reception in a dead zone:

  • Step one: Take an empty cup devoid of liquids. I used a plastic solo cup.
  • Step Two: Put your phone in aforementioned cup
  • Step Three: Enjoy your extra one or two bars of service!
  • Additional step for the more intoxicated: Don’t put your phone-filled cup next to your beer or soda filled cup, because at some point you will toss your phone in the wrong cup without looking. My advice for that is to attempt this tutorial.

I do admit that this tip is a double-edged sword. Why? Because most people tend to go on float trips for two reasons: 1) to get very drunk with their friends and family; 2) to escape the city and their lives if only for a weekend. It is harder to detach yourself from your daily routine and life then one would like it to, I learned this first-hand when I found myself quitting social media for a week. Is it really a vacation getaway if you stay in touch with all your daily stresses back home?  But I will admit, not being able to tweet about some of the more-redneck happenings of my trip (such as a woman eight months pregnant smoking a cigarette), or being able to check on a whim (because later that night, less than 15 miles away a storm ripped through the area killing a woman) was very hard, but it humbles you into remembering that life isn’t always in sync with technology.

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Sisterhood of the Creatives: Are Sole-Gendered Agencies a Good Idea?

A lot of people know I’m in a sorority, I spend more time than is probably suggested with forty other women and I am more acquainted with estrogen at this point more than your average gynecologist. So when I was watching AMC’s The Pitch last night and saw the fully female staffed agency WOMENK!ND, I was actually  kind of questioning the dynamics of an office that is one gender, and whether that is actually defining their success. I’ve always liked working with a mixed bag of people, and I have found that the usually crude-humor of the opposite sex can bring a fresh perspective to something.

Of course an all-female staff is awesome for female-targeted brands to work with. But who wants to just be locked into working with brand after brand targeting middle aged women with a 65% influence over household consumer purchases? Women know what women want. And so when advertising to ladygraphics, WOMENK!ND seems like an easy choice as to what agency to use, but where is the diversity in a challenge? Almost all of the brands that WOMENK!ND had worked with (at least that they gave a shout out to on The Pitch) were all female-targeted, and that just seems like a mundane routine after a while if you don’t have some diversity.

But maybe I just know at an all-female agency there probably is a huge shortage of fart jokes and beer runs, and that saddens me a little bit.

What’s your thought on a female or male only agency? Do you need there needs to be at least one token male or female to balance it out?

(P.S. after writing this I stalked WOMENK!ND a little more to find that they do have some males on their team as well)

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I am Big Brother: Is Facebook Complicating our Relationships?

There is something about Facebook that just screams out “young adults misbehaving.” Let’s face it; the site itself was designed for college students. And just like in its initial days, college students are still using the website for flirting with their peers. In every class students are taught to hide their “partying frat boy ways” for their future employers, but what about their future friends and possible girlfriends? Better yet, why is it now that hiding your information on Facebook or social media networks makes just as much of a statement as if you weren’t hiding anything at all?

With Facebook we have created digital archives of our lives online. With just clicks of a mouse, people can see us go through weight gain and loss, the birth and demise of romantic relationships, and they can determine who our best friends and family members are. They can find our favorites movies and shows, they can gauge our ability to construct a sentence and our sense of humor. By accepting a friend request we invite these people to share in these pixelated scrapbooks, so when we notice someone is hiding something from us—and say, not hiding that same information from another person—it can feel like a personal attack or a instill a sense of distrust. I recently witnessed a fight that happened because one girl blocked another girl from her profile, even though they were still “facebook official” friends. I’ve also witnessed ex-girlfriends feeling scorned at an ex blocking them from seeing information on their profile. For the jilted lovers, they said it felt like it forced the question “not as to why they are hiding it [the information], but as to what it is they are hiding.”

So why is it that with Facebook a large majority of people feel almost entitled to the things they don’t expect to come up in daily face-to-face conversation? Do I expect to hear my friends tell me all about their recent conversation with their estranged cousin? Nope. What about hearing of an acquaintance’s new dog that they got over the weekend? Yeah, probably not.

Technology has made our lives easier in so many ways. Some people say it has caused a bit of an “information overload” for our society, and that is true. The easier access to information about our “friends” that Facebook has provided has made our friendships and relationships that much more complicated, and because it acts as an extension of our lives, when these friendships and relationships might end it is viewable on a public scale. Yet to not subject in this public display of information is going against the grain and leaves a feeling of being “left out.” After over a year of voluntarily being Facebook-less, my friend Jim re-activated his account. One of his reasons was “because like it or not Facebook is a way that people commonly connect with each other in today’s world, and right now I am trying to expand my social circles.”

So when people say we are nearing the approach of Big Brother a la 1984, sometimes I think Big Brother is already here, and being egged on by our constant habit of publically announcing our lives on a digital forum that is easily accessible.

But hey, I’m guilty of Facebook creeping one-too-many times, so if this easy-access information can help me weed out a poor dating-prospect early on, why not?! Plus it totally makes Christmas shopping much easier. (So keep on liking those pages girlfriend! I need gift ideas!)

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12/12/2011 · 5:47 pm